3 Things We Can Do In Hard Times
Enough already! I think everyone in 2020 is probably sick and tired of this year; this virus, this unrest and tension. I know I am. Good news! Here’s three things we can do in hard times such as this year.
1. First, we laugh.
Laughter and a sense of humor are good for your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, look for jokes and humor everywhere – including laughing at yourself! Guess what? You don’t have to be perfect; the ability to laugh at your own mistakes is associated with mental flexibility and the ability to shift perspective. If you learn this lesson in 2020, it will serve you well the rest of your life. Here’s 6 other benefits:
a. Laughter promotes relaxation
b. Laughter boosts your immune system
c. Laughter improves your mood
d. Laughter prevents heart disease
e. Laughter shifts your perspective
f. Laughter has social benefits - hey! It improves cooperation, communication and romance!
So, learn to laugh. I collect jokes I can use in my “Funny Fridays” posts on social media. Here’s one I saw:
Anyone else feel like Halloween is unnecessary this year? I’ve been wearing a mask and eating candy for 7 months now, I don’t think I need a day dedicated to it anymore…..
2. Next, We Cry
It’s ok to cry. This year, as our son struggled with an unknown, mysterious, unrelenting pain-causing condition, we all cried, we pleaded with God, we let it all out. Because it’s ok to cry.
Benefits of crying:
· Detoxifies the body. Did you know you need to be detoxified? Yep!
· Helps self-soothe.
· Dulls pain – now there’s a benefit!
· Improves your mood – who would have thought it?
· Rallies support – ok, that presupposes you’re ok crying in front of other people
· Helps you recover from grief
· Restores emotional balance
· Helps a baby breathe – see, all these years, you thought they cried just to irritate you!
And I know, I know, in our culture guys aren’t supposed to cry – with the possible exception of impending death or divorce – and then only in private. But I won’t tell on you if you break this unspoken rule. Because I’m a counselor and I know what helps!
But because most men follow the rules, here’s what you can also do:
· Be angry, and sin not – the Bible tells us so.
· Release frustrations by hitting pillows, (not walls; that’s bad for your fists and the wall).
· Write out all those feelings on paper, or the computer.
· Physical activity – you can furiously run, do other sports or exercise.
The main point is that you get all the nasty emotions out of your head or where they’ve been stuffed down in your body to the outside.
3. Thirdly, We Do Something
I watched an old movie the other night – Flight of the Phoenix – with Jimmy Stewart – the story of a WWII plane shot down in the desert – and the survivors are racing against time when they will run out of water. At first, they’re propped up against the broken remains of their plane, exhausted and depressed. One guy says he can fix the plane so it will fly, but it seems an impossible and improbable task.
At some point, one of them said: “it’s better to be occupied – even if it doesn’t work and the plane doesn’t fly, we can lie around and watch each other die or we can work together. Let’s DO something.” They forced their tired bodies into action – and you could see the rejuvenation happen on the screen. Because, you see, purpose and passion creates energy. When you’re down, do something!
That reminds me of the story in the Bible (2 Kings 7:8-20) of 4 lepers sitting outside the city gates who were basically in the same situation. There was famine in the city, and it looked like there was no hope anywhere. They said to one another: “why sit here until we die? If we go into the city, we will die; and if we sit here, we’ll also die. So let’s surrender to the army of the Syrians; if they keep us alive, we shall live and if they kill us, we shall but die.” We’re going to die either way, we might as well do something!
Sometimes, especially in hard times like now, our bodies and our minds can trap us into believing “what’s the use? Nothing’s going to change anyway.” We can get discouraged and give up. But hear this:
Figure out something you’ve been wanting to try; or something you already know you like to do. I talked to a lady who used to LOVE to teach kids how to cook, but she had given up on that. As she began to think about that, her eyes lit up and you could just see the ideas starting to percolate. “She could do that by Zoom now!” She remembered that passion and it developed into purpose.
What makes you come alive? What brings you life? Remember these three tips: After you’ve laughed; after you’ve cried, it’s time to dream.
Me? I decided to do video recordings of my “Therapy Thursday” social media posts. So much more fun! Purpose and Passion get you “unstuck,” bring you energy, and will help get you through tough times.