DON’T LET YOUR PAST SABOTAGE YOUR FUTURE
“FOR ANYONE WHO MAY NOT KNOW, THE BEST WAY TO MAKE “HARD BOILED” EGGS IS IN THE OVEN! PLACE THE EGGS IN A MUFFIN TIN SO THEY DON’T MOVE AROUND, PUT IN 325 DEGREE OVEN FOR 25-30 MINUTES AND REMOVE. NOT ONLY ARE THEY TASTIER, BUT THEY ALSO ARE MUCH EASIER TO PEEL.”
Well, I saw this posted on Facebook one day and thought I should try it. However, when I mentioned it to my husband, he laughingly reminded me of the “egg disaster in Houston” and cautioned me about trying this new way – we might wind up having to get a new oven if those eggs blew up!
Here’s what happened: We lived in Houston and were going to see Ray Charles live in concert. Before we left, I planned to put on some eggs to boil, then turn off the heat, leaving the lid on. It was supposed to be better than boiling them for 6-8 minutes. Quick and easy, right? Off we headed for the concert venue an hour away. It was great! We were in a theater-in-the-round and had great seats to enjoy the music and the musician.
We were stuck in the parking lot after the concert when a terrible thought hit me – I was pretty sure I hadn’t turned the heat off under the eggs. Oh no! What if our townhome caught on fire? What if we came back to the sight of fire trucks in front of our place?
We spent a miserable hour before we finally arrived, opened the door and were assaulted by a horrifying sulfur smell! Sure enough, I hadn’t turned the stove off; sure enough the eggs boiled dry, burnt the pan, eggs exploded all over the ceiling and the walls, and it was a wonder the place hadn’t totally been set ablaze after so many hours.
That’s the backdrop for the “egg disaster in Houston.” It was bad, it was smelly, it took days to clean up, and it stayed in the “bad/stupid things you did” part of my brain. If I hadn’t forgiven myself and redefined my “you mess-up all the time” identity, I would still be sabotaging any ideas of trying something new.
I’ve talked with clients who have struggled to change, who have to deal with past memories and messages saying, “you can’t do it. You’ll just mess it up.” One gal really struggled as a teenager and young adult, started drinking and using drugs and had an illegitimate child. Her family bailed her out, and she began the slow, hard road to recovery. When she started seeing me for counseling, she had started medication for her mental health disorder, had been clean and sober for several years and now had a job and was caring for her child.
However, now she’s faced with “remember the egg disaster” mentality in her own mind and sadly, in the statements from her family who still don’t expect her to succeed. And every time she forgets something, every time she flubs up, she feels once again like a failure, and her family believes that too. She’s stuck and fearful of trying to go back to school or get her own place. She can’t get beyond the “you’re a failure” time in her past.
But who among us hasn’t made mistakes? Who among us hasn’t experienced our own disasters because of something we did or didn’t do? Everyone. We all have them because none of us are perfect, no, not one!
I think too often we allow memories of past failures and mistakes keep us from trying something new, something that will catapult us into the next level of success. We let our past sabotage our future.
For me – it was worth it to hard boil the eggs in the oven. Sure enough, that Facebook post was true – the eggs peeled easily; they tasted better and I’m so glad I just laughed about my former egg disaster and tried a new thing.
I encourage you to do the same; don’t let your previous mistakes keep you from stepping out and trying something new. I remember struggling with borrowing money to go to graduate school; that cost a lot of money, and I was still dealing with feelings of inadequacy – was I really worth thousands of dollars? With a few words of encouragement from my husband, (“You need to poop or get off the pot” lol) and a determination to become a counselor, that dream became a reality.
And yours can become a reality too – you may need to get over that nagging, negative Nancy who says you can’t do it; you may need a little help from your friends; you may need to see a counselor. Whatever you need to do, try a new recipe for your life.
I think you’ll find difficulties peel away easier, success will taste sweet in your mouth, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner