I Remember the Bad..............And It Helps

I remember the bad……… and it helps

   When you are knocked to your knees by things you didn’t see coming or that you were unprepared to handle, don’t let that fate become your future. 

There have been times when, looking back over the year, I’d “count my many blessings and name them one by one.”

Not this year.  This year I cried.  A lot.  This year I felt discouraged.  Many times.  This year I had to keep giving myself a pep talk to “practice what you preach” about gratitude, faith and believing.

Our son has been through 10 months of hell with severe back pain, stomach issues, weird problems with thyroid issues – and he no longer even has a thyroid.  If you’ve ever walked with a loved one through such torment, you know it drains you, frustrates and annoys you, because you can’t help.  They’re suffering, and because they are, you are.  Yes, that’s where I’ve been.  

Then I remember the bad…….. and it helps.

“Why?”  you might ask.

Because when I remember other bad times and other terrible situations I’ve been through, when I reflect on others’ pain and that they’ve somehow made it, I’m encouraged to believe I can too.    

 I remember when I was bed-ridden for almost a year, in severe pain, unable to work, clean my house or cook.  And yet, even though it seemed to stretch into eternity, I did recover, and returned to work and life. 

I remember bad days when my husband seemed to be wasting away in front of our eyes and no one could decide if he had Lyme’s disease or some other debilitating horror.  It was a very bad year.  However, he came back stronger than ever and now, when others are taking it easy, he bounds up stairs in a way younger men would envy.   

I remember my niece hearing those dreaded words, “if you have family. you need to say your good-byes.”  That was not a good Easter season.  Nevertheless, that same year at Christmas, she gleefully checked off a bucket-list item and waded into the Pacific Ocean for the first time ever. 

I remember the bad…….. and it helps.

I saw a quote the other day that read like this:  “On particularly rough days, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that’s pretty good.” 

Yes, I remember the bad days.  And it helps. I celebrate because life seems even more precious now.  When you have bad days or a bad year, remember you’ll get through them.   As the old saying goes:  “What does not kill us makes us stronger.”   Bill Johnson once talked about Faith being both a Gift and a Fruit, and fruit can grow.   Perhaps ironically, it seems the prime growing season for Faith is in bad times.

 That’s why I remember the bad…….. and it helps.

If this has been a great year of counting your blessings, I celebrate with you!  However, if you say, “this was not a good year,” I encourage you to remember:  this too shall pass.

When you are knocked to your knees by things you didn’t see coming or that you were unprepared to handle, don’t let that fate become your future.  Get back up.  

And sometimes if you remember the bad you’ve been through…..it will help. 

Cancer Saved My Life

Cancer Saved My Life

With a sense of wonder and awe, our son said, “I just realized that cancer saved my life.”

“That’s a strange statement, “I thought, but upon reflection, I had to admit it was true.  We had been reminiscing during the Thanksgiving season about the major physical challenges Dane has endured.

It all began when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.  As you can imagine, our family immediately experienced the fear, doubt and questions about why God let this happen.  Why did this healthy young man who had served God all his life be struck with cancer?  In spite of our prayers, the cancer didn’t miraculously disappear.   Unable, of course, to answer those unanswerable questions, Dane followed the doctor’s recommendation to have immediate surgery to remove the malignant organ.

Then, as if that bombshell wasn’t enough to deal with, the anesthesiologist found a problem with his heart. And that problem required open-heart surgery.

 Open heart surgery? Really, God? What’s up with this? Hasn’t he gone through enough?

Probably others facing such life-threatening news or continuing problems can fully understand the wide range of emotions we all rode like a wild carnival ride roller coaster. 

Once again, we prayed for a miracle.  We hoped for a miracle.  We believed for a miracle.  But nothing seemed to change.      

  Dane still had to undergo two major surgeries and all the rehabilitation required afterward.   

We didn’t fully realize that a miracle had happened until years later.

 I believe that can happen to anyone. When you are going through struggles, especially ones that stick around, it’s hard to see that anything good is happening.  How many people despair after years of seemingly unanswered prayers?

•        Are you still struggling with a health issue?

•         Do you have a dream that God has not yet granted?

•         Do you have other prayers that have not been answered?

You, like Dane, may not realize that God is working a miracle on your behalf. And this Thanksgiving that’s what Dane realized.  First, it was a miracle his thyroid cancer was even discovered. The doctor said usually this condition is not discovered until it’s too late.  Secondly, because he had to have surgery, the problem with his heart valve was discovered. Either one of those conditions was a silent killer, waiting to pounce suddenly, without warning.

            But a miracle did happen and, as Dane declared, “ cancer saved my life.”

            Don’t get discouraged when you think God has forgotten you; it may be years later that you look back and realize a miracle happened. It might even show up as cancer.

 Barbra Russell, MA, LPC                                                    

Adversity is Difficult but Good

I recently tweeted this:  "Adversity is difficult but good - it makes you develop muscles and resources you didn't know you had."

A reader commented:  "Yes.  My "muscles" are almost on bodybuilder level.  (smile) It's all working for my good though."

I thought that's an excellent way to look at this process -- because bodybuilders are tough, they're toned, they're usually preparing for a contest.  

We daily enter a contest we call life -- the more times we go through adversity and exclaim, "Whew!  Made it," we're usually a little wiser, a little tougher and more prepared for the next challenge in this experience we call life. 

Want to Live to be 100? Live in a House With Stairs!

  Want to live to be 100?  Live in a house with stairs!

As you can see, I’m standing on the stairs of our house.  Well, I love our home and I’ve come to love our stairs.  But it wasn’t always that way.  When we were looking for a house, we weren’t looking for a house with stairs.  We were looking for a rancher!  We were thinking, “Oh, as we get older, we want things to be flat, on one level.  We don’t want any problems, and we certainly don’t want stairs!”

But before we came to look at this house, our realtor said, “Do you know what people who live to be 100 have in common?  They all live in houses with stairs!”  Hah!  Smart realtor, huh?

But that made me stop and think about it.  I said to myself: “Hey!  Let me look at this a little differently!  You know, I could maybe run up and down these stairs, or at least walk up them!  And if that keeps me in shape, I could go for living to be 100!”

And that’s when it hit me—that’s how we are in life.  We want no obstacles, no problems.  We want smooth sailing, we want ranchers!  But that’s not the way God made us to live, as evidenced by the fact that I bet not one of you has escaped having problems in your life!

Rather, when He made us, he designed us to grow, to become better today than we were yesterday.  The bad news, if you want to look at it that way, is this simple fact:  we need difficulties to overcome, we need fears to face and we need to figure out obstacles.  Because, as Romans 5:3-4 says:  “…..tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope.”

I think the writer was basically saying, “yes, you’ll have problems, but it’s going to create some good things in you!”   So, from that point of view, it’s really good news, even though most of us don’t “consider it all joy when we face trials,” as James wrote.

However, as we tackle those difficulties, and we don’t give up in spite of being afraid or discouraged, little by little, we learn and we grow.  As a result, our faith and confidence grows.

Every time we learn something, every time we’ve grown a bit, we become more of who God has designed us to be.  And remember, we’re the ones who win when we become the person we’re designed to be!

So I encourage you today—don’t be afraid to take that opportunity just because it has challenges.  Don’t be afraid of the obstacles in your life; just look at them in a different way.  Say to yourself, “these are the stairs that are going to keep me going, that are going to help me in many ways.”

And hey!  Let’s live to be 100--We just have to look at stairs a different way!

Clapping With Your Feet

Clapping With Your Feet    

“I just want to wake up and find out I’m alive,” were Dane’s last words before heading into the surgical suite.  After hearing his surgeon graphically describe the steps involved in performing open heart surgery, I think we were all echoing his wish!   Dr. Miller explained that during the 5-6 hour surgery, he’d make a chest incision, spread the ribs, stop the heart, place Dane on a heart and lung machine which would keep our son alive, then repair the leaky heart valve.  Whew!  Even though in some ways it was helpful to hear, I think that was more information than we wanted to know!  This was indeed scary stuff!

Seven hours later, we entered his ICU room.  Dane’s eyes were closed, a breathing respirator down his throat, and his hands were fastened down, lest he inadvertently pull out one of those life-saving tubes.  Perhaps needless to say, that was hard to witness.  And even though the surgery was successful, I did wake up in the middle of the night replaying the day.

My night-time ruminations made me reflect about others going through such helpless times.   As a counselor, I’ve seen people survive emotional heart surgery, only to awaken to bed-side visitors of fear, anxiety and worry.

Their last words before such surgery may have sounded like, “Please don’t leave me,” “how will we pay the bills,” or “I just want to wake up and this will all be a dream!”  Being in the emotional-intensive care unit often limits one’s field of vision to blackness of present circumstances, as well as a feeling of hands being tied.  On top of that, emotional heart surgery patients often feel God has abandoned them.

However, as Hebrews 13:5 reminds us, God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  David penned the famous words of Psalm 23 which state, “yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.”2 Timothy says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind!”  When recovering sufferers grab hold of these God-sent promises, what happens next can be as powerful as what occurred in Dane’s recovery room.

My husband joyfully leaned over and spoke directly into his son’s ears – “It’s over, and you’re alive, son!”  We weren’t sure he really heard that for a minute, but then we noticed movement under the covers at the foot of the bed.  It looked like one of those trained seals at Sea World moving its flippers.  And then we realized, Dane was

clapping with his feet!

Even though he couldn’t speak or respond normally, Dane was applauding, letting us know he was glad he was alive!  Tears ran down our faces as we rejoiced with him.  And from that praise grew hope, which morphed into encouragement, and then a rallying cry from deep within, “No matter what happened, I’m still alive – I’ll make it!”

If you ever feel discouraged by events beyond your control; if you’re feeling sorry for yourself because things aren’t going as you planned, and you feel your hands are tied, your voice is silent and your eyes tightly shut, just remember:  You’re still alive!  And if the enemy of your soul tries to tell you there’s nothing you can do, keep this in mind – you can still clap with your feet!  Let praise be your avenue to healing and hope; the strength to carry on.