CONFESSIONS OF AN UNFORGIVER

Confessions of An Unforgiver

My husband Jerry and his brother Larry have always been incredibly close. Growing up as the only white kids on Indian reservations, they learned early on to count on each other. Their bond was unshakable.

So, it wasn’t a surprise that when Jerry and I got married, he and Larry remained tight.

When Larry and his wife, Phyllis moved to Colorado, we followed. When they started attending Pueblo Christian Center, we went there too. Our lives were intertwined.

JERRY AND LARRY RUSSELL - JERRY AND BARBRA’S WEDDING

Then, everything changed.

Larry and Phyllis separated and ultimately divorced. Phyllis poured out her heartbreak to me, and I took up her pain like a battle flag. With every tear she shed, I added another tally to the list of Larry’s offenses.

Hurt turned into anger. Anger turned into bitterness. And for two long years, I wanted nothing to do with Larry. I refused to talk to him, avoided him at all costs, and—without realizing it—started to drive a wedge between my husband and his brother. (Yes, I know. Not my finest moment.)

Bitterness didn’t just affect my relationship with Larry. It sank into my own heart, leaving me exhausted, angry, and underneath it all, afraid.

And then I felt the nudge. Forgive.

I didn’t want to forgive. Larry didn’t deserve it (at least, not in my mind). But deep down, I knew—I wasn’t punishing Larry. I was punishing myself.

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s a process. I had to grieve, acknowledge every painful memory, and work through the emotions that held me hostage. And as I wrote a letter of forgiveness, clarity hit me like a lightning bolt:

What was I so afraid of?

I realized I wasn’t just angry at Larry. I was terrified that Jerry, who had always followed in his brother’s footsteps, might one day leave me too. And let’s be honest—I wasn’t exactly making myself easy to love at the time.

But Jerry stayed. He saw me at my worst and still chose to love me.

Months later, I finally had a conversation with Larry. When he asked why I had been so upset, I didn’t hold back. I told him I had hated him for what he did. And in that moment, something incredible happened—I felt nothing. No more pain, no more anger, no more fear.

I had truly forgiven him.

And with that, I was free. Those painful events became part of my past, but they no longer had power over me.

Forgiveness is powerful. Freedom is wonderful.

If unforgiveness is weighing you down, I get it. Been there, done that. And now, as a counselor, I can help you walk through that same process—the process that leads to healing, peace, and the emotionally healthy life you were meant to live.

If you’re ready to start your journey to freedom, contact me. Let’s walk this road together.

Barbra

#TherapyThursday #unforgiveness #forgiveness #pasthurts #depression #bitterness #divorce #emotionalhealth

Emotional Intimacy: Why Men Struggle More Than Women

Emotional Intimacy: Why Men Struggle More Than Women

Emotional intimacy—the ability to connect deeply, be vulnerable, and feel truly seen—is something many women crave in relationships. Yet, many men struggle with it. Why? Are men just emotionally stunted? Do they lack the capacity for deep connection? Not at all. The answer lies in biology, brain structure, and how we’re wired from the womb.

Men and Women: Speaking Different Languages

Imagine this: A woman shares her feelings, expecting emotional validation. Instead, her partner jumps in with a solution. Frustrated, she accuses him of not listening. He, equally frustrated, wonders why she doesn’t appreciate his advice. Sound familiar? This disconnect isn’t about stubbornness—it’s about biology.

A Tale of Two Brains

At around 9–10 weeks gestation, male and female brains start to diverge. A surge of testosterone in the male fetus shrinks the corpus callosum—the bridge between the two hemispheres of the brain—by about 40%. This means men’s brains are more compartmentalized, handling one task at a time. Women, on the other hand, can rapidly switch between emotional and logical thinking.

Here’s how this plays out in daily life:

• Men are problem solvers: When a woman shares her struggles, a man’s instinct is to fix it rather than explore feelings.

• Women are storytellers: They talk to process emotions, connecting past and present experiences in a seamless flow.

• Men focus on the now: A guy playing golf isn’t thinking about picking up milk on the way home. His brain is wired to focus on the task at hand.

Why This Affects Emotional Intimacy

Since women process emotions and memory differently, they tend to feel deeply connected through verbal and emotional sharing. For men, this can feel overwhelming. It’s not that men don’t want intimacy; they simply engage with emotions differently.

A common scenario:

A wife pours her heart out about a tough day at work. Her husband listens for a bit, then interrupts with, “Why don’t you just tell your boss that?” She feels dismissed. He’s confused—he thought he was being helpful.

She wants emotional intimacy—feeling heard, validated, and supported. He wants to solve the problem because his brain tells him that’s the best way to help.

Bridging the Gap

So how do couples close this emotional gap? By understanding and respecting each other’s "language."

• Men: Learn to listen without fixing. Sometimes, your partner just needs to vent. A simple “That sounds really tough” goes a long way.

Use tools! If your wife asks you to grab something on the way home, write it down. Your brain isn’t wired for multitasking, and that’s okay!• Women: Be direct about what you need. Instead of “You never listen to me,” try, “I just need you to hear me out right now, not solve it.”

Final Thoughts

Emotional intimacy isn’t about forcing men to think like women or vice versa. It’s about understanding our biological differences and working with them, not against them. When men and women learn each other’s emotional "languages," intimacy deepens, conflicts decrease, and relationships thrive.

So, next time she talks, listen. Next time he forgets, remind him (nicely). And always, always seek to understand before assuming the worst.

Barbra Russell, MA, LPC barbrarussell.com 720-263-6257

Finding Strength in the Storm

Subject: Finding Strength in the Storm

I recently saw several social media posts, two of which read like this:

"I am 26 and am feeling unhappy with everything -- climate change, politicians, my work, the future. How can I get out of this funk?"

"This year probably took me closer to the edge than I've ever been.... And that's saying something."

Have you felt like that this past year?

I hear you. The weight of the world right now can feel like too much, and when it all piles up— politics, work stress, uncertainty about the future—it’s easy to feel stuck, like you’re spinning your wheels in the mud. You’re not alone in this feeling. One of Jelly Roll’s lines captures it perfectly:

"I’m falling apart right in front of you, can’t you see?"

There’s a raw honesty in those words, a reminder that feeling broken or overwhelmed doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. And being human also means you have something incredible within you: resilience.

I want to share a story about resilience, one that might just help you shift your perspective.

Years ago, there was a young woman named Maya who faced what felt like insurmountable odds. She’d lost her job, was struggling with a family crisis, and, to top it off, was navigating an increasingly uncertain world. One day, at her lowest point, she stumbled across a quote: “You can’t control the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

At first, she was skeptical—how could “surfing” help with her problems? But instead of letting the chaos swallow her, she started taking small steps. She wrote down three things she was grateful for each day. She found ways to connect with others who inspired her. She didn’t fix everything overnight, but little by little, she built strength. She discovered that while she couldn’t stop the storms, she could learn to ride them out—and sometimes even find beauty in the process.

Resilience doesn’t mean you’re immune to pain or stress. It means that you keep going, even when things feel impossible. It’s about finding those small moments of light, even when the shadows are long.

So how do you start to climb out of your funk? Here are a few steps:

Acknowledge how you feel. Pretending everything’s fine won’t help. Be honest with yourself, and let yourself feel what you’re feeling.

Focus on what you can control. You might not be able to solve climate change single-handedly, but you can make choices—big or small—that align with your values.

Connect. Whether it’s with friends, family, or a professional, don’t go it alone. Find your posse; ; sharing your feelings can lighten the load.

Practice gratitude. It sounds cliché, but it works. Even in the hardest moments, there’s always something to be thankful for.

Find purpose in small actions. Volunteering, helping a neighbor, or working on a passion project can give you a sense of meaning and accomplishment.

The world may feel heavy, but you don’t have to carry it all on your shoulders.

Consider talk therapy in person or online.

You have more strength than you think, and sometimes, simply taking one step forward is the most powerful thing you can do.

Remember, resilience isn’t about never falling; it’s about always getting back up. And when you do, you’ll see just how far you’ve come.

You’ve got this.

With hope,

Barbra

Secrets are no fun

🤫 You know what they say about secrets – they’re no fun. 🤫

Picture this: It's the dead of night, and the phone shatters the silence. My heart races. It's my 68-year-old mother, her voice trembling with urgency. She has a secret to reveal, convinced that her time is running out.

What unfolded in those early morning hours unlocked a door to my past, shedding light on my upbringing and my relationship with my father. The patterns woven into my life by that revelation ultimately led me to penning my first book, "Yes! I Said No!"

Curious to hear more? I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Ginger Monceaux on her podcast, "The Midlife Empress." In our candid conversation, we delved into the profound impact of secrets and trauma on our present lives, the lifesaving role of counseling and coaching, the myth of people-pleasing as a spiritual gift, and the fascinating insights from understanding brain chemistry in fostering healthy relationships.

🎧 Tune in to the episode using the link below. After listening, drop a comment or leave a review. And don't forget to share the wisdom with your circle. Let's start a ripple of empowerment and growth together! 🌊

[Link to the podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secrets-are-no-fun-a-deep-dive-with-barbra-russell/id1705941089?i=1000654807687]

I'm all ears for your thoughts and reflections. Let's keep the conversation flowing! 💬 - Barbra

Stress, Mess and Goldilocks

As Christmas approaches, the age-old question echoes in our minds: Which comes first, the stress or the mess? Much like pondering the origin of the chicken and the egg, it seems that both are intertwined in a dance of holiday chaos.

Ironically, the better you are, the more you may experience this conundrum. Yes, you can be stressed, but not necessarily in a negative way. The worry about project outcomes is accompanied by a sense of drive and energy. Whether you love your job or not, worry, stress, and anxiety are familiar companions in demanding roles.

Enter the Goldilocks Principle, as Dr. Bhatnagar calls it—the delicate balance of stress and anxiety. Like Goldilocks seeking the perfect porridge temperature, individuals perform optimally with just the right level of anxiety. Too little may signify disinterest, while excessive anxiety can harm self-esteem. Stress, a response to external factors, isn't inherently bad; short bursts are beneficial, releasing cortisol for sharper thinking. However, chronic stress is the real Grinch stealing our well-being.

Recognizing signs of healthy anxiety—excitement and manageable worry—versus harmful stress, like sleep troubles and physical symptoms, is crucial. Change, a significant stressor, whether positive or negative, is as consistent as, well, change itself.

Our lives underwent changes this past year. We returned to Colorado, and as Christi said, "Now Barbra is back in CO, and all is right with the world." We're in Colorado Springs, enjoying a view of the mountains from our backyard. Dane's back pain improved, allowing him to enroll at Charis Bible College in Woodland Park, CO. Positive stress.

However, we also faced the challenge of succumbing to Covid after many years. It was a harrowing experience, as many can relate. Just now recovering. Negative stress.

I'm sure your life has been a mix of positive and negative stress, change, and adjustment. As you sample different "porridge" in search of that "just right" spot, remember that you are special—to me and many others.

Remember, life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Most of all, I pray your Christmas will be blessed, and may your New Year be filled with love and happiness.

Jerry, Barbra and Dane Russell

How Adding This One Word To Your Vocabulary Can Change Your Life

I’ve spent thousands of counseling hours working with many people who want to say “no,” who need to say “no,” but who say “yes” anyway.

One client was abused as a young child and when she told her mom, she was instructed to keep silent so as not to shame the family. Over the years she felt insecure and ashamed; her biggest challenge became speaking up for herself.

Another client is a husband, a father, a manager at work, coach of his son’s soccer team, volunteer at his church and on call 24/7 as a community fireman. While he enjoyed each aspect of his involvement, he was beginning to feel frustrated and unappreciated. He needed to learn to say “no.”

A third client loved all her large family but as the oldest, she took care of her siblings because mom was an alcoholic and dad was gone. She learned to please everyone because “if people like you, you feel accepted.” Rejection and trust issues led to resentment and bitterness. “Why me?”

These clients are not alone; I too yearned to be accepted and became a parent-pleaser who morphed into people pleasing as a way of life.

I was mortified when my home economics teacher announced to the entire class: “This is terrible stitching; Barbra has shown us the wrong way to sew.” And years later, when my boss asked my opinion, my face burned red and my throat closed down for fear I’d say the wrong thing.

Yes, I was with those who “hang onto known misery rather than reach out for unknown happiness.” Speaking up, being different, or saying no was way too scary.

Yet I, along with these clients, am living a different life because I learned to set boundaries.

Now I want to help others experience the confidence and freedom which comes when you declare, “Yes! I Said No!”

As most of you know, six years ago I wrote a book by the same name which, I’m happy to report, has helped so many. Here’s a few testimonials I’m sharing because I’d like you to help me spread the word about the new hardback edition of Yes! I Said No!

“Barbra Russell, what you said resonated with me! Thank you. You described me. I became a people pleaser to survive in the abusive relationship I was in. It’s taken me over a decade to come back from that and finally say no. It’s only been recently that I recognized that I was still shutting down emotionally and using that learned behavior even though I wasn’t physically living there. I still have to deal with my son’s father because of my son, but I have learned to stand up for myself with him for my son.”

“Thank you, Barbra. I was just reviewing your video and love what you share about boundaries. You are very relatable and you speak from the heart. You share transparently about how boundaries used to be hard for you AND THEN GIVE US TOOLS to set better ones for ourselves. Just brilliant!”

“Barbra’s book Yes! I Said No! truly changed my life. Coming from an Amish background, I was well equipped to meekly obey and always say yes, but it did not bring peace to me or my relationships. Barbra’s book and workbook are thin, easy to read, easy to remember, and the uncomplicated tools made navigating relationships so much easier.”

There are three questions on the YISN book jacket:

o Is it hard to find time for yourself?

o Do you often ignore what you want, and focus instead on what others want?

o Do you find it difficult to speak up for yourself?

Ask some of my clients who’ve answered yes to all these questions and as a result have been silent most of their lives. They couldn’t handle conflict, and felt they had no choice but to be people-pleasers. “Boundaries” was a foreign word. No longer. Now “freedom” is their favorite feeling, and “boundaries” a familiar concept.

Check out this dust jacket with the new picture and classy look – (thanks Meg Delagrange Belfon). Yes! I Said No! is now available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, Books-A-Million and other places around the world! My dream of this book affecting thousands of people is coming to pass! The first edition has been out for over 6 years and people are still ordering it –from as far away as the UK and Canada. Here’s some of what you’ll find in YISN:

o Why Is It So Hard to Say No?

o People Pleasing is not a Spiritual Gift

o How to Care Without Carrying People

o How to Say No without blowing up, running away or wimping out (shutting down.)

You’ll find useful concepts to set healthy boundaries. There's also practical tips to increase your self-esteem like:

o The Power of Deciding

o To be successful, invest in yourself,

o How to develop thick, armor-plated skin.

I love the testimonies I’ve received about people’s lives changing because of this book. People have said: “I’m standing up for myself now at work, at home and in relationships.” “I feel so much more confident and I actually know how to set boundaries. Before, I was always afraid I’d be thought of as rude, selfish or mean.” “I started to say “no” and I’ve grown as a result.”

Now I’d like your help to spread the word. Do you know someone in another city, or state, or another country? Please share this information with them. I’d like for Yes! I Said No! to become the new bible for boundaries. I want people to say no when they need to so they can say yes when they want to.

Will you help me out? Please share with others; buy a book and read it; buy another and send it. “No” is a word you need to add to your vocabulary.

Below are links to some of the places you can order the new hardcover edition of Yes! I Said No!

Amazon:

https://amzn.to/45pTgAw

Barnes and Noble:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/yes-i-said-no-barbra-e-russell/1134184980?ean=9780998077994

Walmart:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Yes-I-Said-No-How-to-Set-Healthy-Boundaries-and-Increase-Your-Self-Esteem-Edition-3-Hardcover-9780998077994/2777803465?from=/search

Books-a-million:

https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Yes-Said-No/Barbra-E-Russell/9780998077994?id=8896562918651

Do you know someone who struggles with setting boundaries? Please share this blog with them.

Nosy People - How Do You Handle Them?

It’s holiday time – families gather around tables, or you’re with coworkers at the annual Christmas party.

The scene sounds like an idyllic picture, right? But if you’re the one captured by well-meaning but nosy people, you can feel like you’re trapped in a prison cell,.

“When are you going to have kids?” “Are you ever going to get married?” “What kind of job is that?” “How much money do you make?” The list can go on and on.

How do you, an adult with your own life, respond? Most of us don’t want to be rude in return, we want to be polite, but we just don’t want to answer such questions. We figure, “It’s my life; it’s none of your business.” Actually, it's becoming more common to be child-free. A Forbes October 2022 article stated a significant portion (44%) of non-parents aged 18 to 49 years old say it's unlikely they will have children.

A reporter recently asked me to help her with a story she was writing on being child-free. Her question: “how do you handle or shut down the sometimes intrusive and prying questions women get over the holidays from friends and family?”

I gave her some tips, some of which are taken from my book, Yes! I Said No! How To Set Healthy Boundaries and Increase Your Self Esteem. You can change the wording to reflect any situation you might encounter.

Five tips:

1. Prepare ahead of time. When you're caught by surprise, you may stumble, stutter or make little sense.

2. Don't be defensive, feeling you must justify your being child-free.

3. Don't explain - keep your answers short and sweet

4. Use the broken-record technique - if they keep pushing, repeat your chosen phrase.

5. After your response, follow-up with a question - How about you? Do you have kids? How old are they? Or other questions about hobbies, travel or the latest movie they've seen.

Specific phrases you can choose and practice; again, I’ve written them with a “child-free focus.”.

• I don't know whether I'll (we'll) have children or not. I'm taking my time to think about it, and I'm happy with that decision.

• I've (We've) decided not to have children.

• Dolly Parton said: "Since I had no kids and my husband was pretty independent, I had the freedom to achieve my dream of becoming a country star." You can say something similar.

• We want kids someday, but it's not in our plans right now.

Worst-case scenarios to the rude and pushy person who won't let it go:

• I know you mean well, but this is a personal decision.

• Oh, why were you wondering? (use humor). You need more kids for the baseball team?

This year don’t dread the holidays. Experience the freedom that comes with setting boundaries.

I

Oprah Winfrey Couldn't Set Boundaries

Oprah Winfrey Couldn’t Say No

            Oprah once said, “I was 40 years old before I learned to say no.  I was consumed by the disease to please.  The word yes would be out of my mouth before I even knew it. 

            After years of listening to other people’s stories, I finally recognized where this came from for me.  Having a history of abuse also meant a history of not being able to set boundaries.  Once your personal boundaries have been violated as a child, it’s difficult to regain the courage to stop people from stepping on you.  You fear being rejected for who you really are.  So for years, I spent my life giving everything I could to almost anyone who asked.  I was running myself ragged trying to fulfill other people’s expectations of what I should do and who I should be.” 

            Perhaps you’re not famous like Oprah (who is, right?). Perhaps you’ve not been abused (although many have).  But you may very well have become a People Pleaser.  (I was) And you may have a hard time saying no. 

            Here’s the good news:  In my book Yes!  I Said No! I discussed why it’s so hard to say no, that people pleasing is not a spiritual gift, and how you can learn to care without carrying.  And now I’ve designed a Master Class to discuss these topics and more.  You’ll also learn from other people in the class.  Other benefits include:

·      Ways to handle conflict in a healthy way

·      Become a Reformed People Pleaser

·      Find Out if You’re Codependent

·      How To Say No

Setting Healthy Boundaries is a skill you can master.  Join me in this six-week Master Class where you will receive specific tools to set healthy boundaries and take control of your life.  Included in this class: 

• Live Teaching

• Live Interaction

• Book and Workbook Included!

• Codependency Assessment

• Practical Tools

• Easy-to-understand

• Practical Tools

• Discount if you already have the books

Every Tuesday evening from 6:00 p.m. — 7:30 p.m. CST from March 22 - April 26th.

I’d love to see you there; click this link for more details and to register: 

https://www.barbrarussell.com/masterclass

What If....... You make routines, not resolutions this year?

It’s time to make New Year’s Resolutions!

Because that’s what people do, right? It’s January - Make resolutions.

Come February – those resolutions are generally ruined.

What if you did something different this year?

Make routines, not resolutions.

Here’s what that might look like:

Resolution: I’m going to lose 20#

Routine: Daily walking for 20-30 minutes

Resolution: I’m going to regularly do devotions

Routine: Read the Bible while I’m flossing my teeth

Resolution: Stop watching/listening to the news

Routine: TV only turned on once a day to something positive/enjoyable

Resolution: I’m taking better care of my mental health

Routine: Meet with a therapist every week

Resolution: I’m going to have a better relationship with my spouse/friend/child

Routine: Meet for coffee or lunch every Saturday

What happens? Those routines become tiny changes which bring about remarkable results.

James Clear, in his book “Atomic Habits” addresses this as well:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – In other words, your routines are your systems. When you have a regular routine, you’ve started establishing a system.

“Every ACTION you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” The thought, the resolution, the intention is not enough. You must take action – start with a routine.

Here’s some tips:

1. Take small steps – The death of resolutions or any new routine is to

make it too general and too BIG!!

2. Tie your routine to something you already do; what James Clear calls “stacking habits.”

3. Know what works for you. As most of you know, when I decided to do regular stretching so I could walk without a limp, I tied that to an existing routine. I already got up, made coffee, read the paper, then went about my day. (See tip #2)

My new routine came with retraining my brain with a “reward”– “Barbra, you can read the paper and have a cup of coffee after you’ve stretched your leg.” I started with a few minutes (see tip #1)

Before long, it felt so good, I added more time and pretty soon, it’s a routine-- that became a system-- that became a part of my life.

What are your desires for this new year? The most common resolutions across the US revolve around a healthier body, a healthier mind and healthier finances.

What if……. You turned those resolutions into routines?

Happy New Year”s Routines 2022 from Barbra

STRESSED! Who, Me?

STRESSED! WHO, ME?

Stressed? Who, Me? Yes, you. Stressed? Who, Me? Yes, me.

We all get stressed. And some of us STAY stressed.

But wait!! I have good news!! it gets better as you get older. Yep, the happiest people according to recent research are those ages 60-80.

There are several reasons:

• The older you are, the more self-assured and confident you are.

• Older people have better mental health

• Your life is likely more stable the older you get

• When you’re older, happiness means being content with what you have.

Let’s talk about these 4 points:

1. The older you get, the more self-assured and confident you are.

The search for identity is over

You’ve tried things, failed at some, succeeded in others and learned a lot. All that practice leads to self confidence (It’s why we give our kids chores – they hate them, but it helps them become confident in their abilities.).

Hopefully you, like me, have become a reformed people-pleaser. The practice of setting boundaries pays off.

2. Older people have better mental health

“Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.” Bill Watterson. Older folks have survived enough calamities to learn that lesson.

This quote by Bill Keane is an adage people who’ve lived for several decades know and appreciate.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

3. Your life is likely more stable the older you get.

Those awkward high school years and tumultuous 20’s are seen from the rearview window.

You’ve formed solid relationships – I well remember friends we’ve known for over 30 years

You’ve been successful at work and helped your children grow into responsible adults.

4. When you’re older, happiness means being content with what you have.

As Sheryl Crowe sang, “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you have.”

Happiness is not reserved just for the older generation, however. Researchers describe the “happiness curve” as a U-shaped one, with happiness at a high in your 20’s, dips in middle age and shoots back up again in your 50-60’s to be enjoyed for many years to come.

Overall, the research is worth noting – especially given the fact that many people think aging is a negative more than a positive experience. Just a little something to keep in mind if you’re dreading the number of candles on your next birthday cake.

As Gertrude Stein famously said, “You look ridiculous if you dance. You look ridiculous if you don’t dance. So you might as well dance.”

Do You Know Someone Who Could Use This?

The more I study and prepare for the Yes! I Said I Do! Marriage in Boundaries class, the more I am convinced that all couples should have this information in their toolbox.

I wonder if you know of a couple you'd like to sponsor; the $49 investment in their lives might be a life-saver!

This 3 hour class on April 17 from 9-noon MDT can help people who say: "I Want To Grow Old With you." While the divorce statistics are still threatening on the horizon, many marriages could be saved by applying these principles.

We'll be talking about "Why Do You Need Boundaries in Marriage?"

"What Happens When You DON'T have Healthy Boundaries"

"Boundaries FOR Your Marriage" - Each takes responsibility - and answers the question, "What do I need to understand/respect about the other person's way of communicating?

"Boundaries IN Your Marriage" - What marriage is not; rules for conflict resolution.

"Boundaries Around Your Marriage" - The pesky little flies in marriage

To register, or if you'd like to sponsor someone, go to: www.barbrarussell.com, scroll down to the "Virtual Marriage Class YISID"

Thanks for joining with me to decrease the divorce rate one couple at a time.

Barbra

They said, "I Want To Grow Old With You...." But how do you do that?

“I want to grow old with you...” How many couples say this - and how many are successful? To sit side by side when you’re old and gray - how do you do it? To get through the exciting “dating” stage, then build a life with job, kids, family and friends .... without losing the love, the connection, couples ask;

How do you do that?

Another common statement we hear at weddings: Love Is – 1 Corinthians 13 – Love is kind, patient, long-suffering, etc. etc.

What we don’t hear is what Love is NOT:

Love is not mind reading. – “If you loved me, you’d know!”

Love is not making assumptions

Love does not fix your insecurities

Love is not the courage you need to change you – although it can be support

Love does not mean changing the other into the person you want them to be

Join me as we discuss practical tips and tools to set boundaries AROUND your marriage, IN your marriage and FOR your marriage. Three hours of instruction, discussion and therapy for only $49; to register, and to see more details: Go to my web site for more details about this one-morning virtual class on April 17. Barbrarussell.com/Yes! I Said I Do!